I’d agree with the other poster that maybe setting moderation goals would be a really good first step. I guess it depends if you’re aiming for less masturbation, less porn, or less specific types of porn. And it depends on what level you currently find problematic.

For some people the problems with the addictivness of porn are linked to the dopamine hits of modern Internet porn, searching for the perfect thing, changing to newer / different stuff frequently. The a first step might be to continue to use porn when you need to, but your only allowed a single fairly tame video that you’ve downloaded. Eventually it’ll feel boring and you’ll it’s not really just porn your craving, it’s the whole dopamine hunt.

It’s why vapes work so well for many people in giving up smoking. Nicotine is physically addictive and hard to resists, but also just getting your nicotine without all the other fun parts of cigarettes quickly makes it feel less tempting. It’s much easier to give up something meh than something you’re obsessed with.

With any addiction or habit you want to change the most important part is not expecting it to just be done with, however hard you try. If you want to stop looking at porn all the time, then becoming someone who struggles with porn, and still breaks every couple of weeks is a big step. If you can keep that up for a longer time you might start being someone who breaks every three weeks and so on. What’s tempting is to say “I can’t do it, so why even try” and just give up.

Also, it’s up to you why you want to stop a habit like that. Being conscious of your reasons and motivations can make it a postive step (whcih is easier to motivate) rather than just something you’re preventing yourself from doing. When I was giving up smoking, it was helpful to think about postivies (breathing easier, having more energy, not stinking of smoke) because when I felt stressed and wanted a smoke telling myself “no you shouldn’t” wasn’t motivating.

It can also be helpful to identify the steps that lead up to a difficult decision point. If you’re not wanting to look at porn, but you find yourself thinking “but I’ll just look up some innocent pictures of blahblahblah, that’s not porn, that’s okay” and then suddenly you’re in a situation that requires much more willpower to not fall down the rabbithole.

Good luck!

Commenting cause I’m interested in the answer too. From reading online the basic idea is digging the cellar lower in the ground (how deep depends on your soil) to keep the temperature regular, and adding appropriate ventilation to remove damp and warm air.

Are you looking for other books because that ones not good? Or because you can’t get a copy of it. Because it’s in Anna’s Archive if you want to check it out (and then, if you like it, try to buy a copy).

What looks realistic on screen is carefully pieced together from countless shots. An erotic moment feels much less hot if it’s the 29th time you’ve performed the exact same moment, and there’s a dozen guys standing around holding microphone booms and complaining about the lighting not being right, and some dude keeps sending for more fake sweat to reapply to your forehead.

I don’t know a single person who would marry for that sort of reason. But the people I know weren’t under any pressure to get married. Some of them are single, some are in long term committed relationships with kids, and some are married.

Maybe if you live in a subculture that expects people to get married by a certain age this is an OK take. But it’s so far from what I see that it seems like a really niche perspective on a complex cultural institution.

I was today years old when I relaised that “gag” in that phrase presumably means “make me vomit” not “silence me”. I’ve spent many decades being confused about that…

It really depends on how you define the traits of autism. Traits like “difficulties in social communication” are a big part of ASD profiles, but a condition like ADHD can also lead to problems in social communication for entirely different underlying reasons. Basically any complex human capability can go wrong for a variety of reasons, and completely different conditions can lead to quite similar problems, just because those problem areas require that everything is running together smoothly.

That said, I did an autism screening as part of my adhd diagnosis, and came out with 0/40. I joked, “oh good, so I guess at least I’m normal in that area” and they replied “uh, normally people get around 10-15/40, 0 is pretty rare”. So I guess I’m pathologically un-autistic.

That’s really interesting. I’ve got adhd, and I hadn’t read about the role the DMN plays in adhd until I followed up on your comment. It’s given me a lot think about. Thanks!

I just got the pixel 8a, because I wanted a small phone and it was the only one I could find that was available at a reasonable price. Happy with it so far! Not installed Graphene but the possibility definitely influenced my desire for a pixel. If Google ruins android, nice to know there’s an alternative. Other big plus is wireless charging, it’s my first handset to feature it and my last three phones have each needed replaced in under two years due to problems with the usb C port.

I’m not disagreeing that it’s a working clas slur, I know that. But you asked what the well agreed upon name is for that subculture is… and sadly it’s a slur. I’ve seen people describe themselves or their style using that word, I’ve been people put in dating profiles (both as a self description, and as something they’re looking for).

This fashion article uses it repeatedly (and acknowledges it’s contraversial origins as a word), but also uses “casuals”, “English working class youth” and “football hooligan” as subculture groups that wear that style of urban street wear.

If you don’t like it, don’t use it. But it is the common agreed upon term that you wanted to know. British society doest have quite the same issue with race as the USA, but It has a huge problem with classisim, and it is made much worse because people don’t even see it as a problem. You said that people wouldn’t Just describe a guy in dredds using a racial slur, but they would have 80 years ago. Britain is still at that stage with its attitudes to working class culture. And appropriately, “Chavs” by Owen Jones is a good introduction to people interested in the issue.

Most people would call that style “chav”, and I’ve heard people say they’re into chavvy-looking guys/girls, without thinking they were being offensive. If you don’t like that word, I’m sure some clothing store magazine would use terms like “urban street fashion”.

Much more as a middle aged person than when I was a teen / younger adult. Probably still less scared than when I was a little kid.

I watched a lot of darker / violent movies when I was 15-25, and really enjoyed them. But over time I started finding horrible stuff happening really hard to watch. It’s not so much the fear, it’s just that I can now empathise and imagine suffering in a way that I just couldn’t when I was young.

I can’t enjoy a stupid slasher movie when all I can think of is how the families of the dead teens would have to deal with the grief. Even action movies, unless they’re pretty campy, just remind me of what real people genuinely and tragically have to experience.

It’s kinda shitty. Sometimes I think i need to desensitise myself, but it also means that older movies where violence and darkness is often implied are still really impactful.

Only once had my post removed, from [email protected] with the reason “Take a break”. Not especially offensive as a message, but also not a real justification since it was the first time I posted in that community.

But the post and screenshot was of a post by the mod of [email protected] saying something idiotic and been widely called on it. But when someone posted it to that community the mod deleted the post. I don’t normally get involved in dumb Internet drama (which is why this is the only time I’ve ever had an interaction with a mod) but the hypocracy of running a community for criticising Internet dumbassery while being completely unwilling to face criticism for your own mistakes was just beyond the pale.

I guess it’s a vibe…

Is this some reference I’m missing? Or just a weird misogynistic drawing? Ngl, kinda off putting…

Wtf?

Yeah, I wasn’t that excited about the idea of sequel in the first place, mostly because I didn’t think there was much point to one. So when I saw Resurrections I was actually pleasantly surprised, and genuinely enjoyed the different tone and lamposting of the dumbness of unnecessary sequels.

For a long time lots of European music was mostly thorough-composed, where there was little to no repitition. Madrigals (the popular music of the renaissance) were mostly like this, the melody would follow it’s own journey with no chorus / verse or other repetitive structure. I might be remembering wrong, but I think it was early baroque and Monteverdi’s Orfeo that popularised repeating structures, and turns out people love them. If you back and listen to some madrigals, it’s a very different approach to music. (also, there was folks music and all sorts of other traditions, which used more repeating patterns, that seem more familiar to us.)

I see where you’re coming from, but you have to consider - THAT is how good it tastes, that people are willing to eat it even though it hurts. Other foods taste good, but I wouldn’t eat them if they hurt me (if my teeth are sensitive, I’m happy to avoid ice cream even though I love it). But if I overdo chilli, my mouth can be on fire and the hardest part to deal with is not the pain, but the tension between waiting a minute for it to calm down or eating more immediately even though it’ll make the pain worse.

Spicy food is so good people will put themselves through hell to eat it. Repeatedly.

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