yes

wow… good post

none of us actually care about how anyone else’s weekends were or how the other person’s kids are doing.

got it, you ask to fake interest in the other person so he feels valued. Seems ridiculous and a waste of intellect.

It seems the best I can do is working alone. These rituals are way too complicated for me.

that would be cruel, this is a very insensitive comment

being nice is all it takes.

if you mean I have to do this I shouldn’t even waste my time and look for jobs where I work alone. Step 2 is already Get to know your coworkers which for the most part, are irrelevant to me. And I can’t fake that.

Saying hi is not enough?

I have no problem with those who have something interesting to say but most of them for the most part care about stuff so asinine it makes me want to kill them and then myself.

Either I learn really fast to deflect very successfully or I start working alone. To keep my sanity.

You don’t have to socialize. But being a decent person means sacrificing your comfort for others’ sometimes.

you seem to imply there’s something like a middle point between fully socializing and being decent, which I guess means talking but less? Is this so?

You don’t sound ND, you just sound like you don’t care to change. That’s different.

the people who criticize me are not that important to me that warrant I change to some version of what they consider better. I’ve reached a point where it doesn’t make sense anymore to try to be a better, more knowledgeable professional but simply finding a job where people leave me alone. At least I’d be happier.

I guess I’m full misanthrope now

I guess it’s ‘good’ I can ‘change’ if I so decide? but really, change, for what?

I’d wager the people you’re having negative interactions with are picking up on that rather than your introversion.

I don’t know, my soon to be former workplace is like a primary school: established coworkers settle in, start yelling, are obnoxious, care about ludicrously stupid stuff I simply don’t care about. This goes on for 30 minutes. every day.

I’m trapped: if I leave for these 30 minutes they go find me to ask what am I doing, usually reading something interesting on my smartphone without them yapping.

Gossiping has already started at this point.

To avoid this I’ve settled for reading what interests me together with them which is not as good as it sounds but apparently placates them.

I still don’t understand how adults can behave so childish.

it’s not my job to entertain you. you speak like an extroverted neurotypical who thinks he knows better.

I already see extroverts upvoting you :D

do you have the ability to listen to boring stories with a smile on your face?

I wouldn’t phrase it that way but if you must I’d concentrate on people. Societal expectations are not important to me, it’s not something I strive to follow. Where did you get that from? Societal expectations are a form of unconscious, self imposed control.

To you question,about people: what bothers and triggers me is people constantly asking why I don’t talk more, why they feel offended if I answer asking why they talk so much, also feeling offended if I prefer to do my pause alone instead of with them, the talking behind my back which to me equals being unauthentic, misidentifying lack of interest in their lives and wanting to simply do my job as hostility.

Other people are not important to me because I care about them (at least coworkers). They are “important” because I care how they can make my life difficult, the unnecessary drama they create, I don’t want a workplace where I have to fake interest in them so they don’t feel offended and start badmouthing you.

You need a different manager. Distancing yourself from the one you have doesn’t sound realistic: Their job is to not be distant.

I’m lost here: what is their job?

Most of my co-workers don’t like me. My boss doesn’t even like me.

if your boss makes clear he doesn’t like you, why are you still working there and why don’t you have plans to quit?

I mean I don’t understand why this is not a reason good enough to start looking for employment elsewhere. Don’t you find it tiring? don’t your coworkers and boss wear you down?

If my boss makes clear he doesn’t like me it’s only a matter of time before he starts treating me differently, giving me the worse assignments, refusing to acknowledge me…

This would affect me to the point of starting to hate that person.

There’s something seriously off about this story, and I can’t help but think you’ve left out some significant details.

not really, but feel free to think what you want.

I’m guessing you cursed out a coworker and not for the first time.

Not what happened.

there’s a difference between cursing the poor work done by a coworker and cursing a person that was there and wasn’t responsible for the dressing.

I don’t understand why you choose not to see the difference.

lucky you

why are you so easy to trigger?

yes, a very beautiful post.

Lost_My_Mind: how do you do it? Because apparently I’m very thin skinned and overly political statements my coworkers blurt out trigger me or their boring marriage troubles bore me and I find myself trying to control me not to yell ‘I don’t give a f*ck about you, leave me alone’, which of course earns me an invitation with management…

thank you for your detailed post and the off topic bits, helpful as well

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