I also feel like evrything is so difficult, and I wonder how people can do stuff. It feels like time pass faster for me. I struggle with basic stuff and lose so much time trying to simply do my basic survival, that when I’m finally ready to do something for the day, it’s already in the afternoon. Fells like something is deeply wrong with me
Legitimate, if you have not already and have access, see a doctor about ADHD. You sound a lot like me and this is what I was diagnosed with when I described these symptoms to a psychiatrist. I’m also autistic but these symptoms don’t sound like autism.
I feel that too. I don’t think that there’s something wrong with you. There’s something wrong with society. Nobody does things best the same way, and society has a heavy preference for a specific way of doing things.
I agree, but I recognize that not all of my struggle comes from society. Some basic things, like having to eat, are way too demanding for me. It’s complicated to talk about this online, because everyone will try to identify themselves somehow, but some of my experiences will differ too much from how people manage to live and do stuff. a couple of years ago, I tried living by my own, and ended up being hospitalized, because I wasn’t taking care of myself. Sometimes, I spend 2 of 3 days barely eating anything, because there was no more food and I had to do groceries. I would skip many meals often, because preparing things took so much from me. My hygiene got poor, because I didn’t manage to clean stuff so often. When I had to work, The day was lost, and I barely could do something else for the day. I ended up being retired for medical reasons (it’s hard to explain this to people from other countries, but I live from government benefits since then. Might look like a good thing, but it took a heavy psychological toll on me, because I wanted to do something, have a career of some sort). I ended having to move back to living with my mom, and that feels really shameful, while I also lost the minimal freedom I acquired,
I feel you and I’m surprised how many like-minded people here are. Just in case: have you checked spoon theory? Is there’s something wrong with you and your resources?
You say something is wrong with you. Not having enough resources to get through the day is not normal. I’m in therapy because of this. Don’t get me wrong, I won’t diagnose anyone but your message spoke to me and if it is Bad enough for you it might be worth going to the doctor and check if your brain might lack something that other people have.
Chemistry can heavily influence your life.
Oh, I see. I had a really bad experience with the multiple doctors and therapists I’ve been, so I’m very resistant to do it again these days… things are less bad without the treatment and medications the gave me
That sounds like me during my decades of raw dogging ADHD and a bouquet of comorbidities.
It can still be that way for me, but with medication and vigilance and mindfulness and constantly trying to reverse engineer my brain/body’s needs, I had a much more productive 2025 than previous years. (productive at the things I care about, not just becoming a good cog in the machine at work)
Sorry to take so long to reply! I hope you see this.
The metaphor I came up with a couple years back when I was still in therapy was that we all have unique individualized instruction manuals for our brains and bodies, but for some cruel reason we do not get a copy.
Naturally, our two instruction manuals will be very similar in most areas. Needs for nutrition, water, and sleep probably overlap a lot. But maybe lactose will ruin my day and gluten will ruin yours.
Getting into the realm of mental health, medications, neurodiversity, physical health, personality disorders, and our closest relationships, all of those things interact constantly the complexity just explodes. It is unavoidable that any given person will have to to do some trial and error to craft a lifestyle where they can thrive.
Unfortunately I think tons of miserable people passively fall into the routine laid before them and don’t even think about what options might be out there. And double unfortunately, society only seems to be more designed to push people in this direction because it’s good for business. Work hard to keep yourself alive, consume to feel something, repeat.
An important subtext underlying all of this is how our biology is so reactive and adaptive to our environment. Do you want to be better at lifting heavy things? Lift heavy things more often. Do you want to be better at playing the guitar? Play the guitar more often. Do you want to be better at being mindful of what’s actually important to you? Be better about being in a meditative mental state and in control of your mind? All need their respective workouts.
And it’s never just one silver bullet. That last paragraph sounds pretty chill and zen, and that’s how I am most of the time. I’m not in therapy any longer and I’m good at introspection, but I am still on my medications that keep chemical stuff in balance.
Some philosophies that really stuck with me:
Buddhism: meditation and the focus on being able to step back and be an observer of your emotions and sensory inputs and whatnot. It’s a nice framework for exercising whatever you want to call the muscle that lets you be in control of your own mind and understand your reactions better.
Stoics: the notion that in many cases, things can only hurt us if we let them. We can recognize a problem and solve it, but whether that causes anxiety or dread or excitement in our minds is something we can control.
And above all: continuous improvement. You aren’t going to read something and fix all your problems. But if you find a tidbit that resonates with you and you do something that makes life 1% better permanently? Huge victory, and a great use of your day!
I also feel like evrything is so difficult, and I wonder how people can do stuff. It feels like time pass faster for me. I struggle with basic stuff and lose so much time trying to simply do my basic survival, that when I’m finally ready to do something for the day, it’s already in the afternoon. Fells like something is deeply wrong with me
I don’t have an answer, but I can tell you, you are not alone in that feeling.
And remember, if people make you feel like you’re not enough, there’s a good chance they’re just dealing with their own bullshit in their own head.
It doesn’t make it okay, but I sometimes find it comforting to remember.
Thank you for your words
Legitimate, if you have not already and have access, see a doctor about ADHD. You sound a lot like me and this is what I was diagnosed with when I described these symptoms to a psychiatrist. I’m also autistic but these symptoms don’t sound like autism.
I went to a doctor like 4 years ago and ended up diagnosed with autism. No mention of adhd.
Seconded. This sounds so familiar
I feel that too. I don’t think that there’s something wrong with you. There’s something wrong with society. Nobody does things best the same way, and society has a heavy preference for a specific way of doing things.
I agree, but I recognize that not all of my struggle comes from society. Some basic things, like having to eat, are way too demanding for me. It’s complicated to talk about this online, because everyone will try to identify themselves somehow, but some of my experiences will differ too much from how people manage to live and do stuff. a couple of years ago, I tried living by my own, and ended up being hospitalized, because I wasn’t taking care of myself. Sometimes, I spend 2 of 3 days barely eating anything, because there was no more food and I had to do groceries. I would skip many meals often, because preparing things took so much from me. My hygiene got poor, because I didn’t manage to clean stuff so often. When I had to work, The day was lost, and I barely could do something else for the day. I ended up being retired for medical reasons (it’s hard to explain this to people from other countries, but I live from government benefits since then. Might look like a good thing, but it took a heavy psychological toll on me, because I wanted to do something, have a career of some sort). I ended having to move back to living with my mom, and that feels really shameful, while I also lost the minimal freedom I acquired,
Sorry for writing too much,
I feel you and I’m surprised how many like-minded people here are. Just in case: have you checked spoon theory? Is there’s something wrong with you and your resources?
Just checked it. Seems interesting. It’s pretty much how I get overwhelmed by the simple survival stuff and end up not managing to do other things…
What do you mean by that?
You say something is wrong with you. Not having enough resources to get through the day is not normal. I’m in therapy because of this. Don’t get me wrong, I won’t diagnose anyone but your message spoke to me and if it is Bad enough for you it might be worth going to the doctor and check if your brain might lack something that other people have. Chemistry can heavily influence your life.
Oh, I see. I had a really bad experience with the multiple doctors and therapists I’ve been, so I’m very resistant to do it again these days… things are less bad without the treatment and medications the gave me
That sounds like me during my decades of raw dogging ADHD and a bouquet of comorbidities.
It can still be that way for me, but with medication and vigilance and mindfulness and constantly trying to reverse engineer my brain/body’s needs, I had a much more productive 2025 than previous years. (productive at the things I care about, not just becoming a good cog in the machine at work)
Would you mind talking a bit more about that part? How does that work for you?
Sorry to take so long to reply! I hope you see this.
The metaphor I came up with a couple years back when I was still in therapy was that we all have unique individualized instruction manuals for our brains and bodies, but for some cruel reason we do not get a copy.
Naturally, our two instruction manuals will be very similar in most areas. Needs for nutrition, water, and sleep probably overlap a lot. But maybe lactose will ruin my day and gluten will ruin yours.
Getting into the realm of mental health, medications, neurodiversity, physical health, personality disorders, and our closest relationships, all of those things interact constantly the complexity just explodes. It is unavoidable that any given person will have to to do some trial and error to craft a lifestyle where they can thrive.
Unfortunately I think tons of miserable people passively fall into the routine laid before them and don’t even think about what options might be out there. And double unfortunately, society only seems to be more designed to push people in this direction because it’s good for business. Work hard to keep yourself alive, consume to feel something, repeat.
An important subtext underlying all of this is how our biology is so reactive and adaptive to our environment. Do you want to be better at lifting heavy things? Lift heavy things more often. Do you want to be better at playing the guitar? Play the guitar more often. Do you want to be better at being mindful of what’s actually important to you? Be better about being in a meditative mental state and in control of your mind? All need their respective workouts.
And it’s never just one silver bullet. That last paragraph sounds pretty chill and zen, and that’s how I am most of the time. I’m not in therapy any longer and I’m good at introspection, but I am still on my medications that keep chemical stuff in balance.
Some philosophies that really stuck with me:
Buddhism: meditation and the focus on being able to step back and be an observer of your emotions and sensory inputs and whatnot. It’s a nice framework for exercising whatever you want to call the muscle that lets you be in control of your own mind and understand your reactions better.
Stoics: the notion that in many cases, things can only hurt us if we let them. We can recognize a problem and solve it, but whether that causes anxiety or dread or excitement in our minds is something we can control.
And above all: continuous improvement. You aren’t going to read something and fix all your problems. But if you find a tidbit that resonates with you and you do something that makes life 1% better permanently? Huge victory, and a great use of your day!
Thank you for sharing. I may assimilate a thing or two in dealing with my routine