As a woodworker, my first thought is 'I can build my own casket for a tenth of that price."
My second thought is “Damn I need to get into the casket industry.”
I had to pay the trash company to take an old couch. They sent over a special truck that ate that sofa bed in seconds and all that was left on the road were some wood splinters. That was when I knew how I wanted to be disposed of after I die.
I’ve made it very known that I wanna be thrown in to the woods to rot when I die.
I’m finally going to medical school!
Harvard Medical. As a cadaver. They’ll return my ashes to my son when the students are finished hacking my fat ass up for science.
First parts are organ donations.
The excess can be used by science.
The excess from that can be burned and thrown somewhere, I don’t care.
Even knowing the crazy shit that happens when your body is “donated for science” I still want it. It would be neat for some weirdo to have my skull on their shelf, or get dissected in front of an audience.
Now that I think about it, I should sell off my body parts like a Ferengi.
It’s my understanding that most bodies “donated to science” end up as medical school cadavers, that you’ll be a semester’s lab equipment for four graduate students.
In Edge runners, they were putting people’s cremated remains in stainless steel capsule, like a world’s worst kinder surprise. That struck me as being very plausible in the future.
My plan has always been to get cremated and then just bury my ashes somewhere with a little gravestone. No need for a container or anything, after a few years go ahead and bury someone else’s ashes in the same spot and either replace the headstone or figure out a way to stack em. Just have a running tally of names and dates for everyone buried in that plot.
My plan A was similar. Just get cremated and just be scattered around my parents graves. Just so "I’m around“. Plan b, viking funeral. Plan “c” is getting cramated, getting an half and ounce of ashes, putting it in resin keychains. Then during the memorial, “take a little piece of Bob with you.”, and hand out the keychains. Eventually, you are going to lose it, go back to my wife, because she probably has a box of leftover me somewhere.
I’ve always said to dump me in a ditch somewhere, I’m not gonna care, I’ll be dead. If anybody pays for an expensive ass coffin for me, I will come back and haunt their ass.
A reminder to everyone that Costco sells caskets: https://www.costco.com/funeral-caskets.html
And every funeral home legally has to allow you to purchase the casket elsewhere per the FTC: https://consumer.ftc.gov/articles/ftc-funeral-rule (That doc also has a lot of other useful tips in it.)
I was a funeral director. People rarely provide their own caskets even if they have the legal right to. Nobody wants to manage the purchase and delivery of an expensive product right after their loved one has died. Funeral homes will also make it difficult by requiring delivery at certain times, inspection by the purchaser at time of delivery, and requiring the purchaser also get liability insurance on the casket.
Can’t have the casket failing and killing the occupant. /s
Am I the only one that thinks a Viking burial with a raft cobbled together out of logs and stuff by my loved ones would be awesome?
Burning rafts don’t get hot enough to cremate a corpse, it’ll just scorch you and dump your body in the lake to wash up on shore and terrify children.
Is that what happened in actual viking burials?
Surely there’s some way you could make it hot enough
Seems like actual viking burials were…burials…I’m no expert but skimming a few Google search results makes it seem like the burning ship thing never really happened, or at least rarely. Most vikings were ritually buried with weapons, grave goods and sacrifices. The burning boat thing is a Hollywood invention from a Thor myth maybe? Anyway this is why it’s not allowed in most places, you’d need a professional to administer it with as you say a specially constructed ship designed to fully create a body. Your family can’t tie together some logs and burn you themselves. So we’re right back to an expensive funeral industry, but now we get to witness the cremations outdoors so maybe a win.
At this point take me to Uruguay and eat me.
